When we are faced with death, the phrase we most commonly hear is “Just give it some time and everything will get better”. Is this really true? Can time heal all of our wounds?
To some extent, this phrase holds some truth, but the time of grieving is different for everyone. We should never hold ourself or others to a time limit to grieve the loss of a loved one. Even when we get to a better place, it doesn’t mean that our emotional pain is totally dealt with.
So no, time doesn’t exactly heal all wounds. Just like when you get a severe cut on your body, yes the cut over time will heal, but it will leave a pretty nasty scar. Our scars might not physically hurt anymore, but it is a constant reminder of what happened.
When we decide to receive help and comfort during our time of grief, it allows us heal. The end result will still, at best, leave a scar emotionally. We will still have days, even years after the death, where we will miss them.
What we must understand is that this is normal. Our expectation shouldn’t be that we will be completely healed after a period of time. Rather, we should expect that we will still have bad days. If we have that expectation, we will be more willing to turn to others to receive the support we need.
Famous wildlife conservationist, Steve Irwin, tragically passed away in 2006 at the age of 44 from an incident involving a stingray. His daughter Bindi Irwin was only 8 years old at the time. Bindi provided a statement to People Magazine about the advice that was given to her during the loss of her beloved dad.
“I remember people coming up to me and saying, ‘I’m sorry for your loss, sweetheart. Time heals all wounds.’ But that’s just not true. It’s like losing a part of your heart, and when you’ve lost that, you never get it back.”
Whether you are young or old, losing someone will have an impact on the rest of your life. Does this mean that there is no hope for comfort? Absolutely not. Going through the grieving process in a healthy way will bring you comfort. Even when you think you’re completely okay, the pain will resurface.
Don’t think that you are weak. It’s important to understand that it’s a normal process for everyone. Time might not heal our wounds. Your healing is in the fact that your pain is unique to your situation. Your healing is in taking the steps needed on a daily basis to grieve in your own way. Your healing is in allowing family and friends to provide comfort and support to you for as long as you may need it.
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